Have you ever read a book or magazine profile about someone wealthy and felt a little jealous? Or maybe you’ve felt envious of a social media influencer or “self-made” entrepreneur talking about their latest trip to Bali or their private chef.
Envy, disillusionment, fear of missing out — all of these feelings can negatively affect people of all ages, causing higher stress rates, anxiety, and a lower feeling of life satisfaction. And some people even end up with an unrealistic perception of “normal” financial circumstances.
If all those negative feelings start to affect how you feel about your own finances, what’s the solution? What should you do about that uncomfortable feeling of jealousy? It can take a little bit of work, but you can overcome financial envy. Try these suggestions and see how you feel.
Tip #1: Remember Your Money Goals
What are your short- and long-term financial goals? Maybe you’re intentionally limiting your spending so you can save up for a big purchase. Maybe an unexpected event has affected your income, requiring you to be frugal for a little while.
When you’re going through a frugal phase, it seems like everyone you know (either personally or online) is buying a new house or car. Seeing friends, family, coworkers, or even casual acquaintances enjoying their money in that way can deal a blow to anyone’s self-esteem.
It’s hard, but remember that your decision to save money now will pay off later. You may not be actively spending money right now, but you are putting it to work toward a goal that’s important to you.
Is there a way you can remind yourself of your goal to counter those feelings of envy? Maybe you could write your financial goal on a sticky note, make it your phone background, or even say it out loud whenever you see something that triggers your financial envy.
Tip #2: Take a Break From Social Media
It might seem a little obvious, but it’s still hard for many people to remember. If social media is contributing to your financial envy, take a break from it. Do you really need to see these posts on Facebook about the new Tesla your cousin bought? Or those gorgeous pictures from your friend’s recent beach vacation? You actually don’t — especially if doing so makes it harder to stick to your financial plan.
Where do you start with a social media break? Run a quick social media audit. Are there any apps that you don’t really enjoy using, but still feel compelled to open every day? For example, if you dread opening X/Twitter but feel like you have to clear those annoying notifications, then it’s probably better to just delete the app from your phone. All it’s doing right now is making your life difficult.
If you use social media platforms for work, then deleting them may not be an option for you. What you can do instead is make the platform only about work. Set timers to limit how much time you spend scrolling your feed. Unfollow, mute, or hide people if you need to. You can always go back and follow their content again later if you want.
If you don’t have the time or inclination to do a full social media audit, try making those apps less involved in your daily life. Turn off notifications and set app usage limits so that you don’t feel compelled to keep checking them. It may take a little getting used to at first, but trust us — you’re not missing anything truly important.
Tip #3: Be Mindful of Your Feelings Toward Others
This next piece of advice is challenging, but it’s something that can make a significant difference in many areas of your life. When you start feeling envious (or judgmental) toward others who have more than you, remind yourself that their situation isn’t about you.
A friend doesn’t tell you about her engagement to make you wish you weren’t single. Likewise, they’re probably not telling you about their new car to make you jealous. They just want to celebrate their good fortune with a friend.
So if you hear a story or see a post from a friend and have that instant response of judging their purchase or wishing they hadn’t told you about it, take a (mental) step back. Remind yourself that their news isn’t about you, and then focus on them.
Truly listen to them and ask questions. Let them be excited! Maybe you’ll learn about how they had to be frugal for this dream vacation, or how long they spent searching for a house within their budget that ticked all their boxes. It’s harder to be envious when you let yourself feel their joy. It may also remind you that everyone’s financial situation is different, too.
Tip #4: Reframe Your Thoughts
When you’re being frugal, it’s easy to look at everything you purchase in a negative light. You’re focusing on what you can’t buy instead of being happy with what you can buy.
For example, think about the last time you went out grocery shopping. Maybe you saw a decadent-looking dessert in the bakery but knew it was out of your budget. When something like that happens, it’s easy to feel annoyed and focus on all the things you can’t do.
Try reframing your thoughts when you buy something. Remind yourself of the value of your purchases. In this situation, look at the groceries you did buy. Maybe you bought a lot of fresh produce because you enjoy cooking or want to be healthier. You were still able to buy items that fall in line with your values and support your interests.
Try reframing your thoughts when you buy something. Remind yourself of the value of your purchases. In this situation, look at the groceries you did buy. Maybe you bought a lot of fresh produce because you enjoy cooking or want to be healthier. You were still able to buy items that fall in line with your values and support your interests.
Give Yourself a Break
It’s natural to feel envy and jealousy occasionally. And because money can be such an emotional topic, most people experience negative feelings when they see others with more money than they have. So instead of being hard on yourself when you experience these feelings, give yourself a little extra grace. No one expects you to be perfect.
But while these feelings might be natural, they’re definitely not fun. Finding ways to overcome them can support better mental health and make it easier for you to stick to your financial plan. Next time you experience financial envy, try to reframe your thoughts and focus on your own money goals. And remember, a little break from social media can be really helpful.
If you’re having a hard time changing your mindset because you don’t have any clear financial goals yet, then start there. The Guiding Wealth team can help you identify what really matters to you and understand how those values translate to concrete financial goals. Then, we’ll help you create a plan to reach those goals. To get started, schedule a consultation.